Holding a grudge. Resentment. Anger. Unforgiveness in our lives becomes an anchor that holds us in one place. Forgiving others never means that what they did, or how it affected us, is okay. It means that we choose to let go of the burden. Just as important is forgiving ourselves. I’ve heard people say, “I can forgive him/her, but I don’t think I can ever forgive myself.”
If I don’t forgive myself, whether for something big or small, I inflict punishment on myself. But wait, it gets worse. As the poison in me spreads, it doesn’t create joy or happiness in my life – it creates more misery and anger. I hurt myself and hurt others, causing more need to forgive and move on. It’s a vicious cycle but the rewards of drawing the line in the sand and moving on are life-changing.
Once I stop judging myself (or others), it’s best if I figure out how to avoid that trap again. For instance, my son and I have a pretty great relationship, especially considering he’s a freshman in high school and started pulling away toward independence several years ago. Every now and then (when he’s not perfect) I lose my temper – whether at an undone chore, late homework, forgotten keys, etc. The problem is (my problem, that is) normally I go with the flow, we address the issue and move on. When I lose my temper, there’s a commonality that I now do my best to avoid: I’m frustrated by something else, I’m tired, running late for work, hungry, distracted by a work issue … in other words, I’m letting my problems create a bigger problem. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that what he’s done or didn’t do doesn’t need to be addressed. But I need to address it in a way that’s helpful for both of us. Pinpoint the problem, find a solution and move on.
It takes more time for me to recover from an argument and anger than it does to have a loving conversation and find a resolution. So, while I ask my son to forgive me, I also need to remember to forgive myself – for lashing out in frustration and anger, for setting a poor example, and not being the kind of mother I strive to be. If I keep judging myself, I hold on to the grudge. By letting it go and asking my own forgiveness, I let go of that past failure and allow myself to move forward.
Today, I’m acknowledging that I’m not perfect and I wasn’t perfect yesterday. Allowing myself to fail, accepting that I’m doing the best I can, looking for a way to improve my reactions or reach my goals, I’m on my way to making progress.
As of this moment, 100% of the people I know who successfully lost weight over the last year still struggle with either keeping the weight off or the frustration of gaining it back. My evolv™ products gave me the tool to make progress, to move past my daily failures of not losing any weight, as much as I wanted to. I’ve removed an entire category of mental frustration and self-resentment.
Does it feel like it always comes back to weight and evolv™? It does. It does because almost without exception, everybody I know wants to know how I’m losing weight. Just listen to people around you and you’ll notice what they talk about. Look at 99% of any magazine covers – both men’s and women’s magazines – and what will you find? The latest advice about losing weight.
Imagine our country if everyone were at their healthy weight. Imagine the overall health, healthcare system and cost of healthcare. Just think about how good it would feel to get out of bed in the morning, look in the mirror and/or step on the scale.
Do you want it?
Get what you deserve.
- Contact me, Sharon Hayward, at 616-450-8531 or www.sharonhayward.myevolv.com
- Call Joe Manzanares, a fellow challenger and evolv™ expert, at 303-923-8061
- Visit www.drinkevolvtoday.com
See you tomorrow!
I’m curious. Is evolv something you will keep using indefinitely?
I’m curious to find out as well. There are a couple other products I’ve tried and haven’t mentioned because it’s not the purpose of my blog, and we’ll definitely use those. The water does something with oxygen at a cellular level, I drink a bottle instead of taking an ibuprofen now. My son reaches for the water and actually asked me to get it, for a kid who I always nagged about drinking more water. We just tried the liquid vitamins a couple days ago – he immediately wrote his name on the bottle and stuck it in the refrigerator. He may not listen to me but he does listen to his body 🙂
So, at least for the 12 weeks, and now I’m almost half way there.
Have a great day, Beth!!